Identifying Trusted Adults
A trusted adult is a safe grown-up a child can go to for help, comfort, or to report something that feels wrong or unsafe.
Reading is good — doing is better. Practice Identifying Trusted Adults as an interactive lesson.
Try the lessonDefinition
A trusted adult is a grown-up who makes you feel safe, listens to you without getting angry, keeps your body and feelings safe, and will always try to help you. Trusted adults are people you know well and who have shown over time that they care about your wellbeing. Every child should be able to name at least three trusted adults they can go to in different places, like home, school, and the neighborhood.
Remember the rule
Think of 3 in 3 different places: name 1 trusted adult at HOME, 1 at SCHOOL, and 1 in the NEIGHBORHOOD. That way you always have someone nearby no matter where you are.
Key words
- Trusted Adult
- A grown-up you feel safe with, who listens to you and helps keep you safe.
- Safe
- A feeling that nothing bad will happen to your body or feelings.
- Uncomfortable
- A yucky, uneasy feeling inside that tells you something might be wrong.
- Secret vs. Surprise
- A surprise is something happy that will be told soon; a secret that makes you feel bad should always be told to a trusted adult.
- Emergency
- A suddenly dangerous situation where someone needs help right away, like a fire or injury.
- Body Autonomy
- The idea that your body belongs to you and no one should touch it in a way that feels wrong.
- Gut Feeling
- That inside feeling in your stomach that warns you when something does not feel right.
- Network
- Your own small group of trusted adults you can count on for help.
Worked examples
Maya is at school and an older student keeps grabbing her arm even after she says stop. Who should she tell?
→ Maya should tell her teacher, the school counselor, or the principal right away because they are trusted adults at school who can stop the behavior and keep her safe. · You do not have to handle a scary situation alone — telling a trusted adult at school is exactly the right move.
Jordan's uncle asks him to keep a secret that makes his tummy feel bad. What should Jordan do?
→ Jordan should tell a trusted adult like his mom, dad, or teacher about the secret, even if the uncle said not to. A secret that feels bad is never okay to keep. · Trusted adults will never be angry at you for telling a secret that made you feel unsafe.
Lily is walking home and a stranger offers her candy to get in their car. What should she do?
→ Lily should say NO, run away, and find a trusted adult quickly — like a neighbor she knows, a store worker, or go home to a parent or guardian. · Strangers who offer treats to get you alone are not safe, even if they seem friendly.
Carlos feels very sad and has been crying at school. He is too embarrassed to talk to his parents. Who else can he go to?
→ Carlos can talk to his school counselor or a favorite teacher. Trusted adults help with feelings too, not just dangerous situations. · You do not need to be in danger to talk to a trusted adult — sadness and worry count too.
Emma is home alone and smells smoke. Her parents are not there. What should she do?
→ Emma should get out of the house first, then call 911, and then call a trusted adult like a grandparent or neighbor to come help her. · In an emergency, 911 is always the first call, then reach a trusted adult from your network.
A new friend's older sibling wants to show the kids something on a phone and says it has to stay a secret. How does this feel, and what should they do?
→ This feels uncomfortable — a secret from an adult that involves hiding something usually means something is wrong. Both kids should tell a trusted adult at home about what happened. · When a grown-up or older person asks you to keep something secret from your parents, that is a signal to tell a trusted adult right away.
Common mistakes
- Thinking only parents can be trusted adults — grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, school counselors, and coaches can all be trusted adults too.
- Keeping a secret because a grown-up said to, even when it feels bad — a bad-feeling secret should always be told.
- Thinking they will get in trouble for telling — trusted adults will not punish you for coming to them with something scary or uncomfortable.
- Waiting until a situation gets really bad before telling — it is okay to tell a trusted adult about something small that bothers you before it gets bigger.
- Thinking they only need one trusted adult — it is important to have at least three so there is always someone available.
FAQs
Can a friend my own age be a trusted adult?
No. A trusted adult has to be a grown-up because they have the power and responsibility to actually fix a problem and keep you safe. A friend your age can listen and be kind, but they should also help you find a grown-up to talk to.
What if I tell a trusted adult and they do not believe me?
Tell another trusted adult. Keep telling until someone listens. You are allowed to go to more than one person, and your feelings and safety always matter.
Is my babysitter a trusted adult?
It depends. A babysitter your family knows well and who has always made you feel safe can be a trusted adult. But if a babysitter ever makes you feel uncomfortable or asks you to keep bad secrets, tell a parent or guardian right away.
Can I call 911 even if I am not sure it is a real emergency?
Yes. If you feel you or someone else might be in danger, it is always okay to call 911. It is better to call and be safe than to wait and get hurt.
What do I say when I go to a trusted adult?
You can say something simple like: 'I need to talk to you about something that made me feel unsafe' or 'Something happened and I need help.' You do not have to have perfect words — just start talking and they will help you.
What if my trusted adult is the one making me feel unsafe?
Go to a different trusted adult right away. You have more than one for exactly this reason. No matter who is making you feel unsafe — even if it is a family member — you have the right to tell another trusted adult or call 911.
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